This weekend I’m in the thick of preparing to take a much needed vacation. My goal: to be ready to leave immediately following my daughter’s appointment with the orthopedist who will hopefully switch her into some contraption compatible with spending time in the lake. But a deeper goal: to do so with some degree of peace and harmony.
The last time we had a big transition as a family, my daughter was able to nail it. She recognized that she has a tendency to get very excited, and this is overwhelming to her, so on the day of the event or transition, she melts down. I asked her how the rest of us (in our family of three) react. She stated that my partner also feels anxious and overwhelmed but she reacts by being the leader (and a little, ahem, bossy) and that she feels better if she can be in control. I put myself in the hotseat. “What about me?” She concluded, thoughtfully, that I get cranky and frustrated because I’m taking care of and reacting to everyone else’s reactions. Indeed, I am usually pretty unpleasant as I try to make everything perfect.
My family works very hard. We have a farm and our to do list for taking just this one week away is truly ridiculous. Having my own business has it’s extraordinary responsibilities too. But we did it! On the road now and we all stayed present. We had a few differences of opinion and a fairly hefty list of items that fell into the ‘other than we planned’ category, like last minute farm-sitter changes. But it’s all good.
What a relief that sometimes, breaking a well-worn way of being can be just a breath away!! Now, on to just enjoying my family, the north woods,and our imperfections.